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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29368464">His Sadderdaze</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Im_FallingInLove2/pseuds/Im_FallingInLove2'>Im_FallingInLove2</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abusive Parents, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Adopted TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Adoption, Adoptive Parent Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Bad Parenting, Betrayal, Bird Hybrid Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Love, Child Neglect, Claustrophobic TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Creeper Hybrid Sam | Awesamdude, Developing Friendships, Doesnt happen though!!!, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Enderman Hybrid Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Explosions, Explosives, Forced Bonding, Forehead Kisses, Forgiveness, Gen, Heartbreak, Hugs, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), I forgot to tag the protective bois, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Loneliness, Lonely TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Manipulation, Manipulative Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Manipulative Relationship, Manipulative Technoblade, Manipulative Wilbur Soot, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mind Manipulation, Nightmares, No Romance, Not for dream or the sbi bois minus tommy tho, Parent-Child Relationship, Partially Deaf Tommyinnit (Video Blogging RPF), Past Child Abuse, Phil Watson is Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit's Parent, Piglin Hybrid Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Piglin Hybrid Wilbur Soot, Platonic Relationships, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Older Brothers, Protective Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Sam | Awesamdude, Protective Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Wilbur Soot, References to Depression, Sad Sam | Awesamdude, Sad TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Scared TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Self Confidence Issues, Self-Acceptance, Self-Discovery, Self-Hatred, Self-Reflection, Self-Worth Issues, Slow To Update, Strained Friendships, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), They are like Techno's but talk more mature and not about blood, TommyInnit Deserves Better (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit Has PTSD (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit Has Trust Issues (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit Hears Voices (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit Needs a Break (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit is Not Okay (Video Blogging RPF), Touch-Starved TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Traumatized TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Twins Wilbur Soot &amp; Technoblade, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, Unsympathetic Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, eventually lol, tag time LETSS GOOO!!, unoffical adoption, you'll see lol</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 05:21:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,428</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29368464</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Im_FallingInLove2/pseuds/Im_FallingInLove2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tommy is finally out of exile, but for some reason he feels even more alone as his old friends keep taking advantage of his new founded 'kindness.'</p><p>He visits Dream after weeks of avoiding the prison, and Tommy sadly finds himself turning back into the broken boy he wishes he could forget.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alexis | Quackity &amp; TommyInnit, Clay | Dream &amp; TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Dream SMP Ensemble &amp; TommyInnit, Eret &amp; TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Jack Manifold &amp; TommyInnit, Ranboo &amp; TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Sam | Awesamdude &amp; TommyInnit, Technoblade &amp; TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; TommyInnit, TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF) &amp; Everyone, Wilbur Soot &amp; TommyInnit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>626</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>His Sadderdaze</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Be sure to read the tags! They have the warnings in them that are required to be read since I don't want to trigger anyone.</p><p>Every relationship/friendship is strictly platonic!!!! Don't be weird in the comments about it please!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Alright Tommy, I gotta go now so bye! Thanks again for your help man!"</p><p>An older male exclaims, waving a hand for goodbye as he leaves the cozy basement of his friend's. He held onto potions of healing and fire resistance, which all had been made by Tommy.</p><p>"Oh, you're leaving already?" A blonde boy asks quietly, but the other couldn't hear him since he already up the stairs. He musters up enough courage and energy left in himself to call out a goodbye of his own. "Uh, Bye!"</p><p>The blonde boy, who was Tommy, watches the shadow, made by the torches lit in the basement, of Quackity disappear upstairs with a small glint of disappointment in his baby blue eyes.</p><p>
  <strike>
    <em>
      <strong>'Bye bye big brother!'</strong>
    </em>
  </strike>
</p><p>
  <strike>
    <em>
      <strong>'aww quackity is leaving already???'</strong>
    </em>
  </strike>
</p><p>
  <strike>
    <em>
      <strong>'Come back big brother!!'</strong>
    </em>
  </strike>
</p><p>
  <strike>
    <em>
      <strong>'Quackity was so kind to us today, don't you agree Tommy?'</strong>
    </em>
  </strike>
</p><p>It was then when he hears the loud sound of his front door being slam shut that he lets his forced and nervous smile and his facade finally drop.</p><p>Tommy lets out a deep sigh, turning away and beginning to clean up the mess of blaze powder, redstone, nether wart, and the empty glass bottles on the desk.</p><p>Another day of nonstop work, and he was exhausted beyond the bone.</p><p>He was so ready to go finally sleep in his bed that he yearned for all day, or well, get as many sleep as one can get with nightmares.</p><p>His sleep schedule had always been messed up ever since the first war of fighting for L'manburg.</p><p>But since he was younger back then, the eyebags hadn't grown or turn noticeable until he was 15, around the time that L'manburg had been blown up for the first time.</p><p>It was mostly the big explosions and the horrified screams that haunted his dreams, but occasionally there would be the figure of someone yelling at him or hurting him in it.</p><p>Their face would be blurry but he could tell they each were different people each time by their height and their pitch of voice.</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>'Liar.'</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>'bad liar'</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>'You remember who it is clearly, you're just to scared to admit it!'</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>'What are you so afraid of?'</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>'Wilbur, Techno, Philza, Tubbo, Jschlatt, Eret, Dream were the ones in your dream., just incase you forgot.'</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>'im pretty sure he already know that-'</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>'You know who they are Tommy.'</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>'Dream is the only one who can protect you, those had failed to protect you!'</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>Oh yeah, he forgot to say that he's been hearing this strange voice in his head ever since the first festival in L'manburg, the time when Jschlatt was president.</p><p>It had been small but angry at first, so it was easy to forget quickly.</p><p>But as the months flew by, the voice grew and was now basically a second conscious in his head. It always says weird stuff, things about family dynamics for some reason.</p><p>Sometimes the voice would get so loud, that it makes Tommy listen to what it says. It gets way harder to deal with at night, so he barely gets enough sleep.</p><p>Getting a pure night's sleep was rare, but Tommy will tale what he can get.</p><p>Anyway, he really needs to clean off the smudges of glaze and redstone powder off of his hands and forearms, they were starting to burn him a bit. They left the area they on red and itchy.</p><p>His whole body felt so sore and the new small scratches and bruises scattered across him felt more like burns too.</p><p>Tommy never liked that feeling, the burning always reminded him of the explosions of his exile and each of L'manburg's doom days. Which is why he doesn't make potions that much.</p><p>But when Quackity had kept practically begging him to make some for him, for whatever reason he forgot, he just couldn't say no.</p><p>And so Tommy had to help him, that's what friends do. <em>(Although he was the only one who did all the work while Quackity kept almost dropping everything and messing up his neat cabinets..)</em></p><p>Even if some of the ingredients burn him.</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>'Yeahhh! Big bro Quackity!!'</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>'Quackity is really nice and funny, don't be mean Tommy!'</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>'brother quackity best brother!'</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>'No! Ranboo is best brother!'</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>'not true!! its quackity!!!'</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>(All right, he'll admit it. Quackity making a mess annoyed him, since he became quite a neat freak after exile. The grime and his ruined clothes made him feel gross and disgusted with himself, which made him organize and keep everything clean 24/7 afterwards.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No one said anything about it thankfully.)</em>
</p><p>Oh well, he guesses he can just try to find some more bandaids somewhere or ignore it.</p><p>It's not like he feels as if helping out people and making them happy is a chore or irrelevant, don't get him wrong.</p><p>It's just that, when practically <em>everyone </em>in the L'manburg was always asking endless favours from him, taking stuff without asking and ruining his house in the process, not letting him rest for more than 15 minutes, it gets very tiring and makes him feel a bit used.</p><p>It's not that Tommy wants something in return, he knows they're probably way more tired than him, very busy, and didn't mean to cause harm.</p><p>It's just.. when ever he asks for help or a small favour, they would always say they're too busy or find an excuse to leave quickly.</p><p>Ever since Tommy came back from his exile and everyone saw how different he was, they've been taking advantage of his 'calmer' and more 'matured' state and some even said straight to his face that the exile really was <em><span class="u">the best thing</span> that could ever happen to him.</em></p><p>
  <em>That he <span class="u">deserved it.</span></em>
</p><p>
  <em>That he was <span class="u">better</span> than before.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>'Oh, but it was! It was, Tommy!'</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>'It's the truth though!!'</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>'dont lie to yourself tommy'</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>'Dream became your new dad and give you the comfort you needed- isn't that great?'</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>'Dream is so kind to you!!'</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>'It's what you always wanted after all.'</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>He remembers holding back tears and pushing down the strong urge to yell at them words of the horrifying truth. His legs shaking and his hands gripping his t-shirt as he tried not to cry from the frightening memories of Dream hurting him, saying those bittersweet promises and lies, exploding his campsite flashing in his mind.</p><p>Their stupidly kind smiles had made his stomach twist in knots, and an angry but also sad feeling settle in his chest. Tommy had to repeat to himself that they didn't know, that they didn't mean it like that.</p><p>And so he forced himself to nod with a fake smile, quickly walking away with shaking knees with an excuse of Tubbo needing him, still repeating to himself that they didn't know.</p><p>But that's the problem- no one besides him, Dream, and Sam knew what truly happened in exile.</p><p>And he wasn't even the one who had told Sam, that was <span class="u">Dream</span> instead.</p><p>Tommy was too scared to tell anyone, he thought that Dream would somehow find out and hunt him down to teach him another 'lesson' about loyalty and yell how their 'family' is falling apart because of Tommy's disobedience-.. <em>again</em>.</p><p>Sam had said that he told him disturbing things, but not to worry about it and that he wouldn't tell anyone if Tommy didn't want him to.</p><p>He thought Sam would get annoyed with him if he told his side of the story and hurt him too, even though Sam had promised multiple times that he would never be like Dream and do such a thing.</p><p>He just couldn't risk it, he can't trust him- can't trust anyone.</p><p>But when the hybrid would hug him tight and tell him that it was okay to talk to someone and would whisper oh so kind promises of protection, Tommy couldn't help but lean into the warm touch and let himself shed a few tears.</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>'Perhaps Sam could be your new brother??'</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>'Oooh! A new family member!!!"</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>'How does that sound Tommy? Having a new brother?'</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>'Sounds pretty poggers to me'</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>'Maybe Sam could even a new father, but Dream wouldn't like that would he?'</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>'Big brother it is then.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>'sam feels so safe!! doesn't he tommy??'</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>'Sam is nice.'</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>'Don't let him go, boy.'</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>So yeah, Sam was now someone trustworthy in his book. He now has someone he could call a friend without feeling doubtful and hesitant about it.</p><p>It still wasn't enough for Tommy to confess his side of exile, but it was good enough.</p><p>The creeper hybrid also seemed to be the only one to notice his change of personality, Tommy noted.</p><p>Since the young boy was now forcefully quieter and a huge pushover from being apart from everyone for so long and having no one else to talk to besides Dream; to which who only manipulated him into turning into the opposite of himself just for the feeling of power.</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>'Don't say that about your father! He has done so much for you and this is how you treat him? Distasteful, you should be ashamed of yourself. Bad child! Shame on you! What would your father say if he heard your hurtful words?'</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>Tommy pauses his cleaning, put a slightly cracked glass bottle down and brushing the tips of his fingers gently over his left ear, feeling a sharp pain coming from it as it starts to ring again.</p><p>The result of the time Dream exploded Logstedshire, besides from the explosion shaped scar on the corner of his left cheek.</p><p>Tommy had gotten too close to one of the harsher explosions while trying to save some things, and before he knew it, he's knocked to the concrete floor as his ears were ringing while blood drips from his cheek and left ear.</p><p>The sad blonde boy closes his eyes while his face twisted into a slight grimace, taking in a deep breath while closing his eyes before continuing his organizing and cleaning, also letting his mind wander.</p><p>Everyone had turned a blind eye to the dark and heavy eyebags and the untreated scratches and bruises left on his skin. Instead they force him into doing stuff for them, never letting him take a break or say no.</p><p>The light in his eyes has finally have faded into a dull navy blue that was once a bright baby blue just two years ago, right before the death of his own <em>real</em> brother, but no one said anything.</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>'Just shut up, you know he wasn't your brother! Brothers don't hurt you or leave you to be beaten to death in a pit by your own blood! Wilbur isn't family, Tommy. Dream is! Maybe even Sam if your father allows it..'</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>A whole year of being manipulated and gaslighted without having anyone else there with you besides your tormentor (and sometimes the ghost your brother) does that to you.</p><p>Especially if you're an already traumatized sixteen year old boy whose family and friends left him behind and the only thing that was left of them was destroyed before your own eyes.</p><p>They forced him to be this hero figure while he bleeds to death, and when he tried to cry for help, they ignored him and told him straight to his face to <span class="u"><em>'get over it'</em>.</span></p><p>As if it was that easy.</p><p>But Tommy didn't want to be like that, he didn't want to be a hero. It was wrong for them to put so much pressure on his shoulders again when it's barely been even a <em>month</em> since his exile.</p><p>He just wanted to be happy again.</p><p>Tommy didn't want to be alone anymore, and he thought that after exile he would get better and feel like his old self again.</p><p>But it just got worse, even with Dream in prison, it got worse.</p><p>Tommy was so tired, his body ached and all he wanted was to sleep forever. If he ignored the nightmares and the voices, then he might finally get a good night's sleep.</p><p>He grumbles to himself about his aching body that he wishes he didn't have to do anything tomorrow while finishing up and heading back up stairs.</p><p>Which reminds him, he had built this pretty and comfy cottage that was now his new home a few weeks after Dream's imprisonment.</p><p>Tommy had found a nice place to build it somewhere that was 10-15 minutes away from everyone else's houses and the main area of L'manburg. It was kinda close to the Badlands, but he didn't mind it.</p><p>At least he got a beautiful view of sunsets and sunrises over the ocean a few yards away from his cottage.</p><p>He left his old dirt one behind as storage for anyone to use. Sometimes he misses it, but is then glad that his house is now a bit more protective and not dirty or disorganized anymore.</p><p>Right the second that Tommy was about to climb into bed, he suddenly flinches from the familiar buzzing of his communicator, signaling he got another message.</p><p>His shoulders slump and he frowns sadly once more, reaching in his pocket and pulling out his communicator.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> <span class="u">Your Tubbo :</span> </em><br/>
<em>'Need ur help w/ getting wood, can u pls come 2 Snowchesterr??'</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He lets out a tired sigh and his frown and eyes softens, knowing full well that he could never say no to Tubbo. Even if he was very tired.</p><p>That's fine, he needed to try and get more muscle on him since he lost some in exile anyway. Some exercise wouldn't hurt anyone.</p><p>Sleep can wait.</p><p>Tubbo was more important.</p><p>Although the voices don't like him very much, he'll try to call them down on his way there. Most of the times they're easy to persuade by promising to visit someone they took a liking to tomorrow or later.</p><p>
  <em>(Which right now is Sam, Quackity, Jack Manifold for some reason, Sapnap, and Ranboo.)</em>
</p><p>Oh, here they come.</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>'No! No!'</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>'Tubbo isn't family!'</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>'Tubbo is bad!'</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>'Just ignore him and get some sleep, Dream would be proud of you for taking care of yourself and not giving into non-family's lies!'</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>'Stay home!'</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>'Tubbo isn't your brother! He's not family!'</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>'Tommy no!!'</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>'Just listen to us!'</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>'Listen!'</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>'Don't go to him!!'</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>Tommy types out a reply and puts some stuff away before grabbing two iron axes, twirling them both and putting them through the rings of his belt, and went on his way to Snowchester.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> <span class="u">Your Tommy :</span> </em><br/>
<em>'On my way big man :)'</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <span class="u">Your Tubbo :</span> </em><br/>
<em>'Thx! See u there'</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This book is inspired by the song Sadderdaze by The Neighborhood :)<br/>https://youtu.be/ytx9P29Sz98</p><p> </p><p>***Potential Spoilers for upcoming chapters ahead***</p><p>Also, Tommy and Dream's relationship is gonna be more leaning to a parent/child one that is forced onto Tommy, which is why those tags are there.</p><p>Dream does see Tommy as his 'son' but in a more possessive and unhealthy way, which will make him try and make Tommy stay by his side so 'he wouldn't get hurt'.</p><p>As you can see, I will base Dream's character off of the evil mother/witch from Rapunzel! :)</p><p>+ since Wilbur/Ghostbur and Technoblade are Tommy's real biological brothers (techno only dyed his hair pink and their mother had brown hair and was a piglin hybrid), they are gonna be VERY protective over Tommy when they find out about what Dream is doing, since they are both piglin hybrids.</p><p>Wilbur/Ghostbur and Techno had still hurt Tommy but they watered it down in their heads and think that Tommy is just being stubborn when he doesn't want to stay with them or yells at them to leave.</p><p>Ghostbur doesn't think he had hurt Tommy and still sees him as if he was young again, like around 5-13, so he will treat Tommy as such.</p><p>Tommy still remembers every detail of his family hurting him so of course he's not gonna want anything to do with them despite their pleas, which is why it was so 'easy' for him to fall into Dream's manipulative trap.</p><p>The poor boy just wants a healthy and loving family that doesn't hurt him, so he clings on every friendship/relationship he has to try and remake one.</p><p>Tommy is the only human in his family + the youngest so they are very protective over him lol</p><p>Phil will come a bit later, but he's still gonna be protective. Maybe not as much as Wilbur and Techno, cause y'know, he's a bad father to Tommy.. But he's still gonna be PISSED.</p><p>Lastly, the voices in Tommy's head were caused by the overwhelming feeling of being betrayed and left behind by his family so much that it created a fantasy where Tommy gets new older brothers and a new father that will love him and won't hurt him like Wilbur, Techno, and Phil did. It's one of the main reasons for the tag 'unhealthy coping mechanisms'.</p><p>Also.. I might have accidentally gave Tommy one of the symptoms of OCD, not sure how that happened but I have a small headcannon that Tommy is now almost obsessively clean and doesn't like his stuff to get unorganized ever since exile lol</p></blockquote></div></div>
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